Monday, July 7, 2008

Pirate Messages and other Yaaarrrrns...

Hey Robin,
OK OK! Uncle! Uncle! I'll post the Pirate message!! Please don't take away my rosewood dpns!

Here, for those of you who might be a little confused, are the contents of the Pirate-themed message that I sent to my latest Malabrigo-Yarn-Swappee (mentioned in the previous post):

Aaaaar! So I suppose, young Lass that ye’ve noticed the fancy pouch that this ‘ere cannon ball of wonders arrived in. That’s fer the makin’ of small knitterly items and the containment of supplies necessary to the completion of said-items. Use it well and fear not the brandishment of yon pouch as it will allow your compatriots to know you for who you are: YARN WENCHES UNITE! Yaaar!

Inside yon cannon ball of magical containment, you may OR MAY NOT have found these items. It is necessary for me to tell ya the secrets therein or ye may hurt yerself in the mis-usin’ of them. Can’t have ye spearin’ a cable with a stitch holder!

It is the hopes of the Yarn Wench sisterhood that ye may find use for the spare cable needles (‘J’ shaped) and stitch holders included, the guild hall is filthy with them and no yarn wench should be WITHOUT!

Also necessary in the outfitting of the Wench is the comestibles. Namely the CHOCOLATE! The innermost container was purloined (we will not say how… some things are best left unknown) at the nearest shack of Honorable Joe: Trader. He never fails to keep a hungry Yarn Wench from starving! The portable packets of Liquid chocolate are for emergencies. I would have sent you the milk goat to re-constitute the drink, but alas you will have to find your own as the curs at Postal Offices will not allow it!

Pouch mirrors, bedecked with image of pirate chick… not to be confused with Yarn Wench! To be used afore the storming of local merchants or pubs! Aaar!

The guild finds it useful to keep notes regarding the location of stash or treasure, parchment has been included for this need. Use it well!

Should you find your hair giving you problems when you are storming above yarn merchants or pubs, find inside a useful tool for holding the tresses away from your sharp and all-seeing eyes!

I know you be workin on a mastery of stockings, therefore I have added a holder for your work-in-progress. Mind that you put the work into the BLUE TUBE first! Then slide yon red tube over to keep the mess from coming unraveled.

Also, glass rings of beauty to adorn your fair neck!

We Yarn Wenches have found use for tools which can keep our places when we are plotting the maps of our trade! The maps can be mighty ornery without them… contained herein find several so-called “book darts” to aid you in the conquering of the dreaded chart.

Alas, when you are unable to carry the Yarn Wenches Pouch or use the Yarn Wenches tress-container… we afear for your safety. That is why there are also buttons with the telltale symbol to aid you in identification!

Lastly, materials are always needed in maintaining the status of Yarn Wench. That is why the whole cannon ball of goodness contains the cream of our trade’s crop… the coveted Malabrigo... and if ye canna find something ter do with it… look inside the plastic holder to find NEW dreaded charts to tickle yer fancy. Wear them all well and GOD SPEED.

I leave you with the battle call of our people!


All better now?
Later ;)

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